I finally saw the movie men who stare at goats. aside from the fact that it's pretty damn funny there's a quote in there that kind of inspired me and made me think...
"Your life is like a river and if you're aiming for a goal that isn't your destiny, you'll always be swimming against the current. Find out what your destiny is and the river will carry you."
*pause for epiphany*
everything we don't want to do automatically becomes more difficult then it needs to be because it takes more effort to it when you don't want to. brushing your teeth, getting dressed, fixing your hair, and so forth are mundane tasks we do everyday, yet the reason for doing these things can make all the difference. Doing your daily routine to go to the job you hate or a function you have no interest in going to can be so much more taxing and obnoxious then when you do them to go out with friends or o a date. the routines are fairly the same but when you don't want to do it it feels like swimming against the current. so is the reason behind feeling like life has been such a struggle so far because i've been going down the wrong path? yes, i believe it is! i've never found what i truly wanted to do in life and even though i've been fairly successful in the jobs i've done i haven't found happiness in them......until now!!
when i walked in those doors i felt an energy, an energy that i've been looking for for a long time. as i sat through the presentation and went on the tour my excitement grew. everyone there was so happy to be there and had nothing but inspiring things to say. as i walked by and saw students hard at work (here's the kicker) with smiles on their faces i wanted nothing more then to feel that joy. to feel that passion that people talk about when they're doing what they love and excel at it. it was a high that i envied and wanted to know where i had to sign to get it. turns out in the next few days they showed me exactly where to sign ad it was that easy.
as soon as i graduated grammar school my best friend and i started dying and cutting our hair ourselves. i never looked at it as a career option, but as a way to express myself until i was old enough to get tattooed and have the knowledge and freedom to find out who i really was. turns out 13 years later i had it right back then. my mom always told me to become a cosmetologist, but i assumed i should aim higher and away from what my mother thought was best for me. turned out she was right. i love doing hair, i've always loved it. i'm a hands on kind of person and love nothing more then making people smile. originally i thought this would be accomplished in nursing, but after a lifetime of taking care of sick family that acceptance letter brought me zero joy. walking through this university/salon gave me butterflies. i finally felt like i was being carried down that river. i'll finally have a career instead of a job, i will be able to be myself without having to hide my tattoos, i'll be able to make people feel good, make a decent living doing it, and the best part is i can do it anywhere! that's been the dream for so long that i'm willing to do whatever it takes now, including the insane hours i'm going to have to pull for 16 months to do it and the idea of possibly finding my destiny is worth every second.
so here i am, ready to start a new chapter and finally start that new beginning i've been dreaming about.
wish me luck
